Vacation are times we all like to remember and have a good time, well this is a true adventure not to be undone.
Th is is the fi rst trip that I will make without having to worry about my soon to be crazy ex-husband. Th e year is
2004. My vacations are always to the great garden state of New Jersey. Th is is where my best friend lives. It’s also
home to our favorite band, Bon Jovi.
Rosie and I are best friends, since we were both kids. We grew up in separate states. Rosie being a true Jersey
Girl, while I’m a Southern Belle. She grew up in the same town as Richie Sambora, Woodbridge, New Jersey,
while lead singer, Jon Bon Jovi, grew up in Sayerville, New Jersey just a little further down the Parkway. I grew
up in Virginia, Tennessee, and well I’m living in Oregon.
Rosie and I met in a strange and yet unique way. Rosie is very telepathic. As children, we were both abused.
I’m not getting into any further details. I recall hearing this little girl crying one day in my head, as I was being
abused, asked her what was wrong. She told me her name and age. She was older, by 1.5 years, than me. I was
9 years old when I met her She was 11. She asked me to be her friend. We grew up oft en laughing and joking
about Bon Jovi as the band began to take shape. Rosie was telling me stories about hearing them on radio and
which songs she liked that I didn’t and which ones I liked that she doesn’t care for. Th ings of that nature. We
would communicate through telepathy. She’d talk to me in my head and I’d be talking to her in her head.
We didn’t actually speak until much later in life. It was the year 2000, the year of Bon Jovi. Th ey had just released
Crush their 8th studio album. I was graduating from college. Rosie was getting her feet wet in her photography
business. We met in a chat room, dedicated for Bon Jovi, and over the course of about 8 months we became fast
friends, immediately recognizing one another, knowing instinctively, we grew up together.
September 11,2001 that’s truly when Rosie and I spoke on the phone the fi rst time. She called me, because she
lost a few friends in the World Trade Center Towers, and then found out her 4 year old daughter was dying from
Leukemia. My heart just broke for this woman. Again, I was her rock as she dealt with the pain of losing her
child and her friends on 9/11. We made arrangements to fi nally meet in person. Th is was Sept.. 12, 2002. I had
taken my vacation to fl y out to the great state of New Jersey, without my husband. He was going to Las Vegas for
a week aft er I got back. Like I said things were bad in my marriage.
Back in September, 2002, I made my fi rst trip to the great garden state of New Jersey, home of Bon Jovi. I kept
thinking holy cow. I’ve fi nally made it. I made it to where the best band in the world, and these men who were
there for me, as I grew up live here.. Dreaming and hoping to meet the band kept going through my mind. Th is
was not to be as the band were starting to promote their new album Bounce. Rosie and I met, at Woodbridge
Center Mall. I was really in a place where Richie Sambora hung out, where Jon Bon Jovi has been seen several
times. Rosie and I laughed and giggled, and did a whirlwind, Bon Jovi tour, for that fi rst week I was out there.
We did go to Seaside Heights our fi rst trip, with her driving, an experience, not to be repeated. She didn’t know
what the rumble strip was, which meant she drove on it briefl y to fi nd out what I was laughing about. As soon
as I got out of the car, in Seaside, I felt like I had gone back in time. I only saw the place, where the early Bon
Jovi videos were fi lmed. I was standing in the same place, that the men of my dreams had been and spent their
youth. Standing outside of Lucky Leos arcade, images fl ashed from the She Don’t know Me video, Only Lonely,
and Silent Night Videos. I saw in my mind’s eye Richie Sambora tall, thin and dark with his long shaggy hair
and black hat, white peace T-shirt, leaning against the wall. Rosie laughed said he was her’s, said I could have
Page 35
Jon, who was shooting people with a green squirt gun. We laughed and took pictures of the Seaside Heights life
boat, where Richie was fi lmed playing guitar. I returned home to another year of hell in my marriage. Bon Jovi
announced tour dates, and I got to see them 4 times on the Bounce tour, once in Portland, and my second trip to
New Jersey, was a dream come true, I got to see Bon Jovi play Giants Stadium, at home.
It was great fun, to be on vacation in beginning of August, and seeing her but seeing Bon Jovi live 3 times was
a real treat. It was the fi rst night there, rocking to Bounce, which we both love. Th e following night, was to be
the Bon Jovi concert, the fi rst of 2. Th e fi rst night, we managed to get to the show early so I could like absorb
the atmosphere that is Giants Stadium, and what it means for the Bon Jovi die hards to make this almost like a
sacred trip.
It was Th ursday Night, August 6th, 2003. Time for Rosie and I to head over to Giants. Th e weather was a bit
overcast. It was cloudy. We slipped past the parking guy, and didn’t have to pay to park. I suggested lets park by
the race track, as I was told by her, that way we would be able to fi nd our way back to the hotel which was about
10 minutes away. Rosie agreed it was a good idea but complained about how far we had to walk to the gate we
were going to be entering. We got out of the car and headed towards the Home of the New York Giants, and the
building itself where I would fi nally be seeing our favorite band, playing at home in the great state of New Jersey.
We walked around Giants Stadium. We saw the beach boardwalk, left over from the state fair, it said “What a
great place to be, Th e Meadowlands August 2003.” We heard sound check, we caught it briefl y but Rosie and I
both got excited, when we heard Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora both starting on the sound check, which was
closed to the public but we could hear it from the outside. Oh I knew, if there was any way we could fi nd a way
backstage and get in to meet the band we would fi nd one! But it was not meant to be.
Th e show, was so totally amazing. We had such fun, got completely soaking wet. It started to rain and more Jon
made comments about the rain, the harder it seemed to rain. We got every song we loved for the set, with a few
exceptions. But I was so was wrapped up in the experience, we moved into the aisle and were dancing and just
having a great time. I forgot that I was miserable at home. I forgot that I was married. I felt like I was with 60, 000
other friends and fellow members of Jonny’s Church of Rock N Roll.
Th e Second Night, was a beautiful night. Muggy but it did not rain. Th at was the night, Rosie and I were
separated it just so happened, that we didn’t get seats together. She was in Section 5 by Richie, while I was stuck
in Section 14 on Dave’s side. We agreed, since I was further back that I would wait for her out by the bathrooms
aft er the show let out. I gave her the camera, since she was closer to take the pictures. She had a great time. She
was drunk by the time she got to me. I took the keys however, and drove to the hotel. I was leaving the next day
at 5:00 Am because I had to return to my life and my job. Parting for Rosie and I was so diffi cult. We both hated
the separation, and couldn’t wait for the following year for vacation.
Rosie however, got very depressed aft er that trip, and I had to make a second trip in 2003. A week in September.
My husband was not happy, but I paid for it, and saved for it. He didn’t give me a dime. I bought my tickets, and
said like it or not she needs me. I need to see if I can save her from killing herself. She was very depressed, and
no one else seemed to be able to reach her. I managed to get through to her, using every bad Bon Jovi Lyric and
story I could pull together from all the albums, and found the faith to be by her side. Like Brothers’, Blood on
Blood. Blood on Blood reminds me of our friendship, and I feel oft en is an accurate description of our friendship.
Page 36
September of 2004
Bon Jovi Released the Box set in November of this year.
With Rosie’s help, I found the courage needed to escape my marriage. The day before I was come out to see her
for vacation, I went and found an apartment 2 miles from my job, that did not require a security deposit. I had to
get my pay check cashed, and signed the lease, without coming home late from work. I explained the situation
to the lady in the leasing offi ce, who agreed to keep my information private. She also knew to contact authorities
if my soon to be ex husband came looking for me.
I then went home, and packed for my trip. I had sent previously my important papers, similar to how Mom left
my step father in 1986 to Rosie for safe keeping. That was one of the hardest nights I’ve had to live through.
Going home, and acting as if nothing was wrong, just being excited to go visit Rosie again. Little did my husband
know, once I hit the ground in Newark International Airport, things changed. I took off my wedding ring,
and began the process of healing. Rosie gave me her computer, and access, her shoulder, and a place to crash
as I dealt with the loss of my dream, and realization I had failed at my marriage. She helped me setup my new
electricity, phone, and internet all while I was here visiting her. When it came time, to return home, we still did
not know for sure, if my husband was going to Las Vegas the following Friday. He was waffl ing on the decision.
She stuffed my suitcase, full of non perishable food, so that I would have something to eat until I got my fi rst
paycheck after I left him. She called me only after he was gone or leaving for work. We put the plan into action.
I have never been so terrifi ed in my life. He went to work at 4:00 Am. I got up, and shoved my still packed suitcase
into my car as soon as he left, and started shoveling whatever I could into my car, and into plastic bags.
The night before I had written him a letter and had closed and saved it, but he found it. I was terrifi ed for my
life. He threaten to kill me if I let the cats go, he claimed they were his only friends. Rosie was on the phone,
and heard all this. She heard him take the cell phone out of the apartment and leave. She had heard his threat.
She called me that morning at 1 Am her time, because she was worried about me. I told her what I was doing.
She said move, get it going faster. I had to wait until 7 Am to rent a U-haul. I was able to get a large one, and
just spent from 4:00 Am - 7:00 throwing anything in a plastic bag that meant something to me, including my
buddy Leo, all my Bon Jovi stuff, some clothes, my microwave, the computer so I could at least talk to Rosie, a
lap, and a few blankets. I took a few of my favorite movies. No one helped me move out, no one moved me, no
one was there. I did everything completely alone.
Rosie I had on the phone. After I signed my lease, and got my keys and did the walk through, I unloaded my uhaul,
drove it back across the bridge, and picked up my car. I had done it, and by 4:00 PM that afternoon. I was
free. Now the fear set in. I called my mother, she was not home or did not answer her cell phone. I called my
sister, she also was no where around. I called my grandmother, also not home. The only person who cared about
me, was Rosie.
She talked to me and let me cry and be hysterical all night. She was exhausted but loved me to death and stayed
with me that fi rst lonely night. It was me and Baby, my birdie. I had Bon Jovi. I put in Bounce, I put in Faith,
and I put in Crush and cranked it up. I found courage, strength, and hope. I loved the song from the box set,
Radio Saved My Life Tonight, because 20 years prior, Runaway had saved my life.
Page 37
November 14th, 2004
Wow have things changed in my life. Th ings move at lightning speed when you least expect them to. I
have moved. I’m not sure what parts of this story have been saved. My other hard drive died, and I’m not sure
the backup with my friend, has even been found. I have no idea where I’m going. I can barely tell you which
end is up on most days. I still can’t fi nd my head. I have taken a bold new step, I left my abuser. I did it. I left
on my terms, and on my time. I managed to get a new apartment. I managed to get out with my check aft er
visiting Rosie, in New Jersey. Without her support, and that a few other close friends who rather remain in the
background, I doubt I’d be sitting here, free. I have asked him for a divorce. I walked out the last day he was to
work before his vacation. It was my only chance to leave and take control of my life. With her help, and support I
was able to gather what little courage, what little money I had, and what little hope I had signed the papers on my
new apartment, the day aft er I returned from my vacation.
Life has a strange way of laughing at you. It truly does. Th e night before I left , he was in tears, begging me to not
leave him. Begged me to stay with him. He actually threaten my life, if I let the cats go, because and I quote “they
are my only friends.” He even had the balls to say he was not the monster in the letter I typed. Luckily I printed
that. I have it in writing. So that Friday. I got up aft er he went to work. I started shoveling things that really
mattered, that I absolutely couldn’t live without. I fi lled bags with things I couldn’t be without. Like my trusty
friend, Leo the lion, and my new friend Richie Monkey. I never unpacked from my trip. My dear friend sent me
home with dry foods, so that I could eat for the week before I got paid.
Now before I left , that Wednesday, because of the stress, I began developing cold sores, on my lips. By the time
Friday, just 2 days later rolled around, I had 6 cold sores, on my lips, and both lips were swollen. See the Picture
below for this evidence. Th is was taken Saturday. By the time 7:00 am rolled around, I found where I was picking
up the u-haul. I was terrifi ed. I had no help, of the people whom claimed they would help- every last one of them
backed out on me the day I needed them the most. I have lost all respect and faith in people who claim to be my
friends. It’s a shame. I struggled so much to know that I had friends willing to help me when in fact I was left
completely alone to walk away from an extremely dangerous situation. I have never been more afraid or unsure,
but I knew in my heart that I had to do this. I had to leave him or I’d be dead within the next fi ve years. My life Now I had picked up
the u-haul and headed back to the apartment, in a panic, it was 7:30 AM. He would be home around 1:00 PM. I
had to get my butt in gear. So I started grabbing bags and loading up the truck by myself. I took the microwave,
I loaded the cockatiel, the only pet I took from that home. She is my friend. I loaded her into the front seat
with my purse, and my keys, and my wallet. I began quickly grabbing bags and started loading up the pictures,
posters, hangings, the few dishes I wanted, the little bit of food that I could take. I took my stuff ed animals, a
couple of pillows and a hand made afghan. I took my keyboard, took my guitar, took the computer because it was
mine. I took my clothes. I took my movies, dvds, cds, my fl ute. I got it all loaded without eating a thing by about
11:30 AM. By then I was heading out to my new apartment. I did this all myself and completely alone. I was
terrifi ed, my cell rang and My poor friend, Rosie, was in a panic because she hadn’t heard from me yet. I talked
with her as I drove the 26 miles to my new home. I hung up with her as I walked into the offi ce and got my keys.
I was on a time frame, I had to have the u-haul back by 4:00 PM. In just a little under 3.5 hours I had everything
unloaded. And moved into my new apartment. Clutching my keys, I drove the u-haul back to the place where I
used to live. I got in my car, put in Crush turned up the volume and let It’s My Life take on a whole new meaning.
Because at that moment, truly it became my life. I never knew though, how hard and how alone, how much pain
I’d had been suff ering. I called in this order, my mother, whom never answered her phone that entire night. I
called my grandmother, my little sister. None of whom were home. I then out of desperation called, my aunt,
whom was not home. Th en with my Rosie on my newly established land line, on one ear, I made the hardest call
I ever made. I called my husband using the cell phone. I told him that I left , and that I wanted a divorce.
I will never forget that day. Th e day I called him. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was nervous, I was
afraid, I had pain. I could barely talk because of the cold sores, I had a sore inside my lips, I had one on the
roof of my mouth. I couldn’t really drink anything. I had to make that call. Th ere was no fi ghting. Only a few
questions, “Are you going to help me pay rent?” “Are you sure this is what you want?” I said I want a divorce.
Th is is very foggy this conversation I had with him. I said I left him the cats, asked him how BJ was because I
couldn’t fi nd him when I left . I was able to say a fi nal goodbye to Gobbles. I called him, and he was very cordial,
Page 39
and pleasant almost. It was the strangest conversation I had with him. I called on Saturday, and he had gotten
a new apartment, gotten all the bills taken care of and changed into his name, got rent taken care of and was
picking up the papers. He gathered some of the stuff I left behind, and asked me to come pick it up, or to let his
friends drive it over to me. I’m still suff ering with the cold sores, now this is that pic above, that day. I reached
my mother, and she was shocked that I left him. Said at that point, that she never liked him, and wanted me to
leave aft er he got his DUII. Strange how 3 weeks prior to vacation, Mom said get marriage counseling. Mom
didn’t even off er to help me, in fact she told me to suck it in, and it would be fi ne. She didn’t ask me how I was
doing, didn’t ask to see if I was safe, nothing. She wasn’t even worried. What really hurt me, was the fact my
sister, and my grandmother could be bothered to call me. No one in my family to this date, have even off ered to
help me. My friends in New Jersey, were the only ones who were there for me during those fi rst few days aft er I
left him. I continued to work, dealing with the pain, of not being to eat for a week solid, not being able to drink
anything. But water. I was in a lot of pain, I was alone save for the phone calls from my friends. Mom called that
Saturday to see if I was ok. I said yea I’m fi ne. She then went on about how sick she was, how the dog was, and
how my sister was doing with her expecting her fi rst child. Th at’s all that mattered. I am so very tired. I plugged
my computer in the next week, and it popped and died. I was without any form of entertainment, except the
radio and my birdie.
I never knew how bad things were, until I left him. I’m still fi nding out just how little I had control in my life.
I’d go to bed on the fl oor, since I had no bed, with Richie Sambora’s “Stranger in this town” playing on the CD
player. I can relate to feeling like a stranger, and walking alone because at this moment, and at this time in my life
I feel very much like that.
Aft er a week of being on my own, I got a call from him asking me to come and pick up some of my stuff that was
left behind. So I called the one friend, and he agreed fi nally to help me move it on Saturday. I saw him, he was
totally relaxed, and not worried about anything. I still had the cold sores on my mouth. I said you did this to me,
and he said no I didn’t. He had the locks changed on the doors, so I couldn’t get in. He would not let me into the
apartment. Instead he brought out what belonged to me and helped load it on the u-haul I had rented. He was
very causal. I saw gobbles, he had the sore on his lip again. It bothered me. He wanted to see me though and so
I reached through door and scratched him under the chin. I just don’t know for 3 weeks I heard nothing from
him. He was the one who told my grandmother that I left him, and she was upset. So I had to calm her down and
explain why I left . It never fails. No one believed that he was abusing me. No one wants to see the hell that he put
me through. No one, accepts that I was abused as a child. It’s not fair. Never fails I struggle all my life to make
something, and my own family hates my guts. I can’t and have never ever had the support of someone believing
in me. Someone wanting to be there, and actually gave a damn about how I feel, how I am doing, not what I can
do for them. Just once, I would love to hear someone in my family be proud of me, for my accomplishments.
One of these days, perhaps the pain and knowledge knowing that I’m the most evil, and hated person according
to them, will heal. For now, it hurts more and more, the more I remember of my childhood, the more I struggle
through this divorce, feelings of being alone. Th ank God I had Rosie. She was my light, my rock and my support
during that fi rst year.
I begin planning for my vacation in 2005. Bon jovi heads back into the studio and records, Have A Nice Day.
It releases the day aft er I land in New Jersey. Rosie and I make plans. We buy tickets on Ebay to see Bon Jovi
Open Nokia Th eater in NYC. Wow, my fi rst trip to NYC and I was driving. Rosie was terrifi ed of the Lincoln
tunnel. But it took me three times, to get her through it, but We did it. We got front row, right in front of Richie
Sambora. What a show that was aft er Hurricane Katrina. Th at was my fi rst show, where I really just let myself go
and enjoyed the music. I could not believe how lucky we were. Th en on Friday of that week right before I left , we
Page 40
managed some how to get to the Today show.
Wow. What a trip. We celebrated my freedom. I thank my lucky stars, for Have a Nice Day. Th at album gave me
life, inspired me to never give up and never stop fi ghting for what I believe in. Th e songs off that album that are
me 100% are “Th e Story of My Life, I want To Be Loved, and Have a Nice Day.” I have said it through out this
story that all I ever wanted is to be loved. Now there’s a song about how I felt, aft er leaving my husband, aft er
being through hell and back one too many times. Rosie’s favorite song off this album was “Wildfl ower” and of
course we just couldn’t get enough of Who Says You can’t Go home , with Jennifer Nettles. Th is vacation this
year little did I know was going to my last one. I arrived in New Jersey aft er spending over 18 hours in PDX due
to mechanical problems with the plane. I had the cable installation guy coming to setup cable internet for Rosie
that day I landed. I was running on no sleep. Bon Jovi was premiering their episode of Crossroads on CMT that
night, with Sugarland. I still did not have a TV in my apartment and therefor could not watch the show at home.
Rosie’s power supply died in her computer and I had to get a new one, all while running on no sleep.
What fun we had, once the computer was fi xed, and we got hooked on this band called Sugarland, and this
opened Rosie up to Country Music, which I’ve always enjoyed over the years. We made our trip to Cape May of
course Nokia theater, was just something I will never forget. I saw the band perform from the front row in NYC
for the fi rst time in my life. Th ey did all my favorites that night. Rosie got some great photos from that show
and we made our annual photo book of our trip. Not knowing that she had cancer at this point. We had both in
January started a weight loss plan . We cut out all the fat, and cut our calorie content, and began eating health
and walking for hours a day. By the time I saw her in Sept. I was down to 190 pounds, and She was about 185. I
had lost 80 pounds, and she had lost 100.
Little did we know what was happening or how much our lives would be changing in the coming 6 months.
This photo is of the two of us I believe in Wildwood, 2005.
Bon Jovi had announced fall tour dates, and the tour would being in New Jersey. As a Christmas gift, I purchased
3 tickets for Rosie to go to the shows in at Continental Airlines Arena, which is located next to Giants
Stadium.
The deal was that she would call me from the shows. I was going to see them in Portland, once their tickets
went on sale in March of the following year.
December 2005 rolls around and Rosie is bouncing off the walls with excitement about her upcoming Bon Jovi
Shows. I had already gotten her a cell phone and was paying for so that we were not running up long distance
bills. It was a Go Phone, with unlimited calling between mobile to mobile. She somehow managed to get
their,by herself chanting Parkway South, Turnpike North, cars only, get off at exit 16 W follow signs to Giants
or Meadowlands sports complex.
She made it to all three shows, but during that time she had gained 20 pounds over 2 weeks. We chalked it up to
being overeating over the holidays.
No comments:
Post a Comment