We’ve made it to 2006.
Rosie starts getting sick here She’s complaining of being slightly bloated in her stomach and just feeling very fl u
like. She asked me if I would begin reading to her to pass the time at night, and to help her relax since she wasn’t
feeling well. I began reading to her. Rosie’s favorite books, “Little House on the Prairie” by Laura Ingalls Wilder.
She absolutely loved these stories. Our phone calls consisted of listening to some Bon jovi, some Elvis Presley, a
radio show called “ Acoustic Storm” because we both loved Classic Rock. We’d debate music and albums by the
Beatles things of is the White Album better than Sergeant Pepper. John and Yoko’s relationship. We’d talk about
Bon Jovi’s infl uences, and she got me into Bruce Springsteen, more informed about the Beatles.
We also started in January planning for my Trips to New Jersey. I had purchased for her three tickets to the last
three shows of the Have a nice tour, which was ending at Giants Stadium in July 2006.
Th e year progressed with Rosie getting slightly better, only to feel fl u like off and on throughout the winter.
She got really sick however, in March / April of that year. She went to the ER three separate occasions complaining
of being short of breath, unable to eat, and being slightly bloated. On three separate trips, the doctors at JFK
hospital told her it was not Ovarian Cancer, that she was too young to get it, and that because she had children
she would not get it. Th ey shoved the papers are her, and sent her home, with a respiratory infection and stomach
virus. On her third trip she had a Lung tap because they felt it was possible pneumonia and drained the
fl uid that had built up in her lung. I was on the phone with her every night. I was very upset and worried.
I was not taking care of myself, and got a cold myself. But I got better aft er about a week. Aft er her third trip and
she was complaining of feeling like something popped inside of her. She went back to JFK, but to the Emergency
room. An older Doctor took her seriously and saw that she had already been in the ER 3 or 4 times previously
over the last month. He decided to give her a cat scan.
He found that she was indeed bloated, and he discovered that she had cancer. She called me May 12, with the
news at work. I was asked to come. I quit my job. I walked out. Bought suitcases, her parents paid for the plane
ticket. Because the doctor told her she had at that point 3 months to live. You do not know devastating news until
your best friend calls you and says I have Ovarian Cancer. I want you here with me. As Jon sings, “If I got that
call in the dead of night. I’d be right by your side.” I dropped absolutely everything. I called my estranged husband
so that he would know where I was going. I notifi ed my apartment manager - who said that I could leave,
the apartment, and it was not breaking the lease as they changed ownership. I was paid through the end of May.
I had one friend Scott Valentine who came by aft er work to help me fi nish packing my bags, and he said he’d take
over cleaning up and storing my stuff for me. I went to work, I walked into the building found a manager, and
said I quit. Chad and Dan both tried to talk me into staying and just taking a leave of absence. I said no. I then
broke the news to my friends on the fl oor. It was one of the hardest things I did. People cried, came over and
hugged me, and were just upset and sorry to see me go. Her parents paid for my ticket out of Portland. It was
$600 at the time. I took my last dollar, my Bon Jovi Stuff , and of course Leo the Lion and Mr. Monkey.
I let my birdie go. I let her fl y our of the apartment. She sat on my shoulder for the longest time, because she
Page 45
knew I was leaving and I wasn’t coming home. I loved her so much. Th at was one of the hardest things I ever
had to do. But my birdie also knew I had to leave and be here for Rosie. Rosie was everything to me. She was my
sister, my soul, my best friend the joy and light of my life.
I left Oregon, on a rainy Th ursday Night. I had a midnight fl ight with 3 layovers. Rosie gave her cell phone to her
parents so that I could keep them notifi ed of where I was in my trip. I fl ew from Portland to Seattle, from Seattle
to Minneapolis, and from Minneapolis to Newark, New Jersey. Rosie by this point was having a lung tap put in
that very morning I landed. Th e very fi rst I did, was open my suitcase, and Pulled Leo out. He had to come to the
hospital. I could not get there fast enough. I was nervous because at this point her life had changed drastically.
Her girls were with her boyfriend. Her parents whom she thought were dead were found alive. And their relationship
was re-established. Her parents are in denial and do not know about her children. It’s a secret I will be
taking to the grave. I was so overwhelmed by this news I just didn’t know what to do. I saw Rosie, hooked up to a
million wires and with a suitcase she called it fi lling with yellow yucky fl uid that was draining from her abdomen
and lungs. She was bloated. Th e doctors were deciding at that point if she should start Chemotherapy right away
or if she should have a complete debulking.
Rosie opted for the complete debulking. I walked into the room not long aft er she made that decision. I gave her
Leo, and gave her a huge hug, and kissed her and was sent home with her parents so that I could get some much
needed sleep. Kathy and Mike then drove me to their house. Rosie’s room was completely trashed because she
had been so sick for a couple of months prior. I brought in my stuff and began unpacking and sorting through
what few things I brought with me. I then called my mother, grandmother and my sister. Th ey were all concerned
about my well being but proud of me at the same time I started immediately looking for a new job.
Rosie had her surgery on May 18th, 2006. I had 2 phone interviews and scheduled an in person for the following
week. Her parents were generously allowing me to use her car. I fi led for unemployment. Rosie and I both found
great comfort in the music of Bon Jovi. She had her photographs of the band she’d taken over the years, and I
brought her the Video tapes of Bon Jovi I had, to the hospital. While she was recovering she would watch the
Crush tour, Slippery when wet videos, and Live from London, and en Evening with Bon Jovi. She passed countless
days and nights enjoying the music she loved so much. She found courage to fi ght this disease. She fought
and refused to believe that she was going to die.
Aft er her surgery was completed, they staged her cancer as Stage IV A or Stage III C. Th ey said they had left less
than a thumbnail of cancer in her body. Bon Jovi was wrapping up their Have a Nice Tour in Europe and fi nishing
out at Giants. Rosie already had 3 single tickets. Th e doctors cleared her to go. Th e problem then became getting
pairs of tickets. I went through brokers, sold what I had and bought one pair for the fi rst night, that pair was
$500 for fl oor seats second section on richie’s side. Th e second night, I spent another $350 as we got them early
in June, and we had pit seats. Th e fi nal night, I had bought yet another pair of tickets, for $500 or so, but I found
a Pit seat, for $800 and it wound up costing me $1000 for a single ticket. I bought it feeling it could have been the
last time she saw Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora live.
By July 5th I was employed and working at Elie Tahari as a Help Desk Coordinator. Rosie had completed one
round of Carbo / Taxil treatment and the CA 125 test results showed, that her counts started at over 435 and
dropped to 17 aft er one single treatment. Without the music of Bon Jovi, I doubt either one of us would have had
the strength or courage to fi ght through the fear, the unknown, and celebrate our time that we have together.
Aft er that last show at Giants, another favorite of Rosie’s was performing at the Readington Balloon Festival.
It was 99 Saturday on July 30th, and we baked all damn day in the sun. Was it worth it to see our Band, you bet.
We got every song, including Wildfl ower performed the second and only time live. We got Dry Country, we got
Page 46
Blood on Blood, we got all our favorites save for Mystery Train. Tired and all we got up the next day and with
our trusty google directions, for at least getting there, we took off to see the one and only Peter Frampton. What
an adventure that turned out to be. We had thrown out the directions aft er arriving thinking we could fi nd our
way home. We were so tired aft er that. But man was it a day not to be forgotten. We got lost and sunburned aft er
backing in the sun for the Bon jovi show the night before, then all day for the Peter Frampton show. We had a
hell of a time, going through hell trying to fi nd our way back to Route 22 E so that we could get home.
Rosie continues to go through 3 more rounds of chemotherapy. Without the music she would not have made it
through being sick for a week aft er each treatment, feeling terrible, and down in the dumps. But the chemo was
working her CA was going down steadily. On her 5th treatment, we went and saw the Goo Goo Dolls at PNC
Arts Center. I’m fi ghting to learn my way around a new company.
It is October 18th, 2006 and Rosie is declared to be in Remission, from her Ovarian Cancer. We celebrate. Life
moves forward. Every thing is going great, but by the following year I get news that my grandmother, has had a
heart attack. She survives, but it’s hard for me. Th en my great aunt Jean, is moved to California due to her illness
and health. Her kids move her closer to them from Seattle, Washington.
Moving into 2007: I turn the big 33. I spent my birthday with Rosie and family for the fi rst time. It was weird
for me actually celebrating my birthday but she insisted. For my birthday, I lost my shaggy look with the long
straight boring hair I had since I got married. Because my ex husband, refused to let me cut it short or perm it.
Th ank you Rosie. She insisted I update my look and that was her gift to me. She encouraged me to fi nd myself, to
do new things and not be afraid.
In June 2007 however, Bon Jovi Released Lost Highway. What a great Album. Richie’s father had died earlier in
the year, from Lung Cancer. I release personally to that having lost my Uncle Charlie, Uncle Andy, Uncle Roy,
Aunt Rachel and Aunt Anne all to that very disease. It’s a terrible and devastating disease. My Aunt Jean died
not long aft er that album released. When I lost my Uncle Andy, her husband, I had hand written out for her the
lyrics to Th ank You For Loving Me, as a gift to help her heal and deal with pain of his death. She died from a broken
neck, she fell out of bed and literally broke her neck. Mind you she was older, and suff ering from dementia.
Bon jovi are the announced they would be opening the new Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey 10 nights.
Guess who had to have all 10 nights, almost. We were able to get 7 nights. I did have a job, and she was on SSI.
At this point in our lives, Rosie’s still living high and in remission but things are changing. Her mother is getting
slower, and her father crazy. I’m providing everything for Rosie. I buy her food, paid her cell bill, our internet
connection and my bills. In the meantime I have season Tickets to see Jon’s arena Football team, the Philadelphia
Soul. What great times those were. Th e team wasn’t bad but they weren’t great either. We had seats in end
zone, and attended all the home games. It meant I took half days off form work to make it to Philadelphia, but I
made up the time.
It was Rosie’s dream to see the Arena football games. We were on TV a few times because of where our seats
were. We had such fun at those games. Rosie got her picture taken with Jon, since at that time he would walk
around the arena before games, signing autographs. Sadly, I was pushed and the picture is a bit blurry. I however,
was not as lucky. Rosie also got Ron “Jaws” autograph. She became fascinated with the game and began yelling at
the Refs but her favorite parts were Soulman, the team mascot. She loved hanging out with him.
We got our Bon jovi tickets, now I couldn’t aff ord great seats for the shows at Newark, not 7 sets of tickets.
We sat in the upper raft ers, for a couple of nights. Th at was pretty darn scary. Cause it’s narrow up that high.
But was it worth it? Need you ask two die hard Bon Jovi Fans. So far we’ve seen Bon Jovi Open Nokia Th eater,
Page 47
and now we saw them open Prudential Center.
We had a pair of fl oor seats, second row, on richie sambora’s side. I paid $600 and that was face value. We hadsuch fun. Th at was the night Big and Rich opened the show. We were dancing and singing and having a great
time. We were celebrating Rosie’s 1st year in Remission that night as well. I’m still working at a job I was starting
to dislike.
Moving into 2008, things get rough. My mother is sick, my grandmother has a stroke. Mom almost dies twice,
due to complications from Lupus / pneumonia. My Grandmother had 2 more heart attacks, and a stroke in December
of that year. Just a little pain, pressure from my job, that I wasn’t performing up to standards, and I was
struggling to get the support I needed to complete any projects or suggestions to get anything changed or done. I
was failing at everything, but I was still a friend. I was fi ghting for Rosie. I wanted to keep her healthy and happy.
She’d been through so much, so as a thank you for all the help and friendship she had given me. I bought a second
set of Philadelphia Soul Season Tickets, which included Bon Jovi concert tickets, for Jon’s birthday, 3-2-2008.
It included sound check. I had already renewed our Philadelphia Soul tickets, and moved us over a section so
that we weren’t directly under the fi eld goal bars. So I donated the game tickets to cancer kids or young adults
for the season, while I kept the concert tickets. For Christmas 2007, Rosie gave me 3-3-2008 tickets, in return to
see Bon Jovi play the second night. Th e seats were in the section off richie’s side, about 12 rows up. We a great
time we had.
But sound check we will never ever forget. We were right in front of Richie and Jon. I mean on the barricade.
Th ey did Mystery Train for sound check Rosie had tears rolling down her face, because it was her all time favorite
bon jovi song. I got Wild is the Wind, which they don’t do live since the Jersey Syndicate tour back in 1989.
Th e show itself, was fantastic, Jon was surprised with a birthday cake by his Football team, the Philadelphia Soul,
who was quarterback at the time, Tony Grazini said we’d bring the championship to Philadelphia this year. He
was right, Tony didn’t do it but team went on to win the 2008 Arena Bowl. Not long aft er that Rosie and I failed
to attend the concert in Central Park. Why? We had to see the football team fi ght for the right to play in New
Orleans. We were there when they won by a hair. We loved it so much.
Page 48
Rosie and I at sound check 3-2-2008
Rolling into a very rough 2009. My company, is downsizing, the economy crashed and the arena football league
has suspended operations for the year. I wind up a casualty of the economy. I get laid off April 19th, 2009. I was
told that my boss needed more out of the position and I wasn’t stepping up enough. I refused to see his band
play and this is the same man who claimed to know Jon Bon Jovi’s son, and Jon himself. Enough said. However,
in March of 2009 Rosie had a Biopsy performed, to determine which type of cancer she had. Something had
recurred and was causing her grief. She had to have a piece of the tumor removed from behind her wind pipe.
We had scheduled this Biopsy with Dr. Bastides, three times since Sept. 2008. He cancelled once on the table
in November, we couldn’t reschedule with him again until January, she’s prepped and he cancelled again on the
table, another month goes by, more pre-op test are done again, and she is fi nally taken care of. He tells her got
most of the tumor out but felt it was cancer.
Meanwhile in the 6 months it took for her to have this Biopsy performed, she was getting progressively weaker,
and sicker. She was not being treated. She had a double hernia she could not get repaired due to her impending
biopsy / chemotherapy. I took her for the biopsy in March 2009. Th ey determined it was a recurrence of Ovarian
Cancer, in her lungs not Leukemia which they felt it could also be. She had to wait another 3 weeks or so
for the results and the biopsy to heal fully before she would be starting Chemo therapy again. Remembering this
time however that she was allergic to Cisplatin, which meant they would have to drip the drugs into her slower,
and give her more steroid to try and prevent another reaction.
By this time, Rosie had also been diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, and a diabetic, plus she was well over 300
pounds due to the Chemo from a few years ago. It took her longer to heal, and certain drugs caused her sugar to
spike out of control and remain dangerously high. Rosie was so hurt when I was fi red from my job at Elie Tahari,
but not as much as I was. I was afraid of losing my car, my lease was up the following year. I was worried about
student loans, and my bills, and supporting the two of us. I live with her and her parents. I pay them rent, do
housework, and run all the errands. What a year. Rosie’s sick and needs chemo every three weeks. I take her to
chemo, and then I’m trained on how to give her insulin, and become responsible for all her pills and schedule ad
all her medicines.
I’m home job hunting as well. Unfortunately I work in technology and that was the segment hit hardest by the
recession. IT felt it fi rst. I was collecting unemployment. Fighting to keep everything turned on and balanced,
and supporting the two of us. I was so tuned into “Keep the Faith, I believe, Falling from Graceland, Story of my
life, Stick to your Guns, Father Time, Th e Answer, Destination Anywhere, Any Other Day, to name a few songs
Page 49
I would repeat to fi nd a reason not to quit. I would sit and apply for job aft er job aft er job. Sometimes I get an
interview, over the phone. I had a few interviews in person. I was learning where in Jersey things were. I was
worried about Rosie. Th ey had to change her treatment to straight single agent Taxel because she had another
allergic reaction to the Carbo.
I was fearing for the future, trying my hardest not to think that maybe Rosie won’t be ok, maybe she will die.
Th ey defi nitely ran through my head, and heart. I wanted her to be the person who beat this disease. She began
to fall into a very deep depression. I pushed her to continue to live her life. I fought her to listen to Bon Jovi, she
loved Taylor Swift , though, and Sugarland, Kenny Chesney and Jimmy Wayne. We had so many dreams.
November 2009 I was again gainfully employed as a contractor for Macy’s, working in MCIS, or Macy’s Creative
IT Support. What luck to have a job working in NYC, at Macy’s yes, that Macy’s, the one in Miracle on 34th
Street. I work above the store.
Bon jovi released Th e Circle, the week aft er I started working for Macy’s. I ran to buy the new album. I had to
have it. Rosie now, is dealing with Chemo, and I’m commuting for an hour via NJ transit each way into the city
and home from the city. We buy tickets of course even though she hates the album. She hated every song on it,
could not fi nd a track that suited her. But loyal to the band none the less. I however connected to the single “
We Weren’t Born to Follow and I fell in love with Superman Tonight, and Live Before You Die. For my Christmas
present / birthday present, we each bought a pair of tickets to see Bon Jovi play in March 2010. Her birthday gift
from me, however was a pair of tickets to see Taylor Swift performing a few days later in Philadelphia.
Welcome to 2010.
Year of changes. How fast time goes, and it just really can escape you. By January 2010, I thinking my contract is
almost over but it gets extended, and I’m off ered a full-time position with Macy’s. It took me well over a month
and half to get through all the formal processes. Job opening interview, and so forth.
I was off ered and accepted on Feb. 17th, 2010, I had just turned 36. Rosie was so happy that I had been hired
full-time. She was proud of me. Mom just asked me if I could get her parade tickets. I had been by this time
diagnosed with this condition called Fibromyalgia. But it hasn’t stopped me, it fl ares from time to time, but St.
John’s wort appears to help with my depression and the pain from Fibro. Rosie’s not feeling well and starting to
have issues with her breathing.
Chemo she is driving herself., Rosie is also giving her own insulin shots. Her mother lost her job in November
2009. Her beauty shop closed. We roll into March, and I’ve been given the time off to see the concerts as I had
previously purchased tickets before I was hired. Th ose were the last 2 Bon Jovi shows we saw together.
She was sick and dizzy and felt awful when we went to the fi rst show, but she was so very happy because we took
my new car to Philadelphia. She drove it once. In April 2010, aft er her Cat scan, she was told, the cancer had
grown. Th ey were changing her treatments to be Doxil. No big deal, Doxil appeared to give people a longer life.
Th at’s all the mattered now. Rosie was not ready to quit and absolutely refused to throw in the towel.
April 2010 Bon Jovi announce, they are opening the New Meadowland Stadium. We rush to get our tickets. We
got the fi rst night and the last night. But little did we know Rosie would not attend those shows. In May, aft er
completing her fi rst round of Doxil., Th ings appear to be going well. She’s not suff ering from side eff ects other
than bad nausea. But Friday morning, I believe it was May 7th, she had a seizure. Her mother called me at
work, and said not to come home, and not to go to the hospital. I told my boss, and she said leave now.
Page 50
I rushed to hospital. Th ey had just told her, the cancer, had metastasized to her brain. Emotions were running
high. I never thought it would be her. Th ey started her immediately on Whole Brain Radiation. I took the next
week off to be with her, to take her for the rest of her treatments. She completed 10 rounds, the fi nal one the day
Bon jovi opened Giants. Th e doctors cautioned her about the lights and possibility of having another seizure.
She was afraid and just too exhausted from the radiation to attend the show that night. However, we had just
upgraded to Iphone 3Gs. She insisted I go. I was to call her from the show so she could be there in spirit.
I did just that. She was there on the phone. I described Train, she said call me back, I don’t care for them and save
the battery for the boys. Now Rosie still hated the new album. But she loved the set, because they were pulling
out old stuff they hadn’t done in years. She got a few of her favorites, but I was so happy to have gotten Blood on
Blood. Rosie cried the entire night, she was so upset that she could not attend either show. She was just too sick
from her treatments. Little did I know it would be the last Bon Jovi show she’d ever listen to.
She stared a 5 day treatment every month that required me to take off from work early to pick her up from
chemo. She was very ill throwing up and unable to eat. Over three months she lost 45 pounds. I won tickets to
see Bon Jovi play the PC Richardson Th eater in October, performing the new single before they released their
great hits album. I had to turn them down, because she was fi nishing up chemo, and just too sick to attend a
private 200 member audience show. Well, that brings up to October and Rosie’s decline and the cancer starts to
win the war.
In October of 2010 at the end of the month, Rosie is taken to ER complaining of severe shortness of breath
and the constant cough she’d been complaining about since January. Her left lung had collapsed, and she had
a blockage in the lower bronchial tube. Once again another 3 or 4 days in the hospital. Rosie at that time, was
given 2 brachotherapys to remove the tumor and to see if the lung would begin to infl ate. Now treatment for the
brain stopped at this point.
November 2010:
Radiation to her chest is decided as the next course of action and debating whether or not she should take
Temador for her brain began. I have never been more frustrated with doctors. Th e Gynecological team said
they’d talk to Radiation but never seemed to connect. One said take it aft er Th anksgiving, one said no wait until
you start Radiation and back and forth they went. Radiation didn’t even start until January 2011.
Jan. 2011.
Th is year has been hell and we’re in August almost. Rosie is again back in the hospital due to shortness of
breath. Th e determine the lung is not collapsed but has gunk pressing against it that is preventing it from fully
infl ating again. Rosie not complaining mind you she is fi ghting for her life. She was not “Backing down and was
going the Distance” So they start her on radiation to Her chest. She was scheduled for 15 rounds.
5 Rounds were completed in the hospital.
I would work all day, go to the hospital everyday aft er work which added to my commute another hour. 30
minutes in and our, then I’d have to drive the 20 minutes home. WE laughed and argued about how much she
hated the new album. Bon jovi are currently touring and releasing a new Greatest Hits. I ran to pre-order the
album and of course I have it. She hates the new songs, feels they’ve done better. I like the one song “What do
you got ?’ and “Th e more things change”. My boss at Macy’s is a saint, and my entire team, stands behind me
100%. Th ank God, I had to work 1/2 days to complete her last 10 rounds of radiation. Th en through in 31 inches
of snow blizzard, a week later 24 inches of snow, and then sub 0 temperatures. Rosie physically only completed
10 total rounds of the 15 she was scheduled for. We were going to skip this tour because we had planned to go to
CMA Music Festival in Nashville, Tennessee. But in Feb. aft er rosie had her fi rst MRI to fi nd out what was going
Page 51
in her brain, all the plans in the world changed. We would have gone to see Bon Jovi play Philadelphia and
MSG, but it was not meant to be. Rosie on Feb. 26th got news that the tumors in her had grown, that there
was swelling, and she needed to come straight to the hospital and be admitted.
We went again to ER. Another week of her being it he hospital. Well on Sunday one of her doctors came in
and said You have 3 - 6 months to live. When Rosie said , I don’t believe you, what else can be done for me.
Th e doctor got upset and walked out of the room because she did not like how the conversation was going.
I was devastated, rosie was devastated. Her radiation team came in and said they felt she would be a candidate
for Gamma Knife. But her Gynecological said no, and off ered her Brain Surgery, which was also
explained, she was going to have the largest tumor removed, but they felt that wasn’t an option at that point.
2 Weeks go by and she is admitted into the brand new Gamma Center at Robert Wood Johnson University
Hospital. She is patient number 2. Th ey get her setup in the frame. She’s not afraid of the procedure as
much as the MRI she hated it.
She takes her pills before going, but due to some issues, she missed an aft ernoon dose of all her pills including
the steroid and seizure medication. Th e Gamma procedure, they play for her specifi cally some Bon jovi,
they asked her to bring her in favorite Cd’s. Th ey listened to Crush, and few other things she loved. Th ey
released home, with a script for pain relievers. Not 1 hour aft er I get her home. I go upstairs to shower, because
I have to work the next day. She’s fi ne when I leave. I’m upstairs all of 15 minutes. I come back down,
and fi nd her on the fl oor. She had a seizure. I ran up to get her father because I could not get her up off the
fl oor. She had 4 seizures that night. I called 911 and again had to back to the hospital.
It was determined that the missed dosage of her steroid is what caused her to seize. Another week in the
hospital. Th is brings us to the beginning of April 2011. We fi nd a new study and she wants to try this treatment:
Doxil / temador. It was a 4 week waiting period due to the nature of her gamma. Th ey wanted her to
heal before starting her on chemo. April passes with nothing happening other than a slight cough. Which
could have been anything.
May 2011:
She is treated but in early may before we go our on trip to Wildwood, New Jersey, she starts having symptoms,
spinning rainbows or beach balls, prisms she called them. Th e doctors in both Oncology and Radiation
said not to worry about them as she did not have any other symptoms. She started at that point of
complaining about being a little unsteady that she couldn’t balancer right. Again it was written off as a side
eff ect of chemo or the interactions of the drugs she was currently taking. Meanwhile. At work, I was told
straight out, I was not being promoted this year, due to my need for fl exibility, which was not a concern of
mine. I needed to be there for her and I was thanks to my team and my wonderful boss. My job was the
least of my concerns, my other job was taking care of Rosie. She was my responsibility, doctors, chemo, all
her health care, physical care and so forth. Note I am just 37 years old.
Right before vacation I scheduled her follow up MRI, and doctors appointment with radiation: Oncology
bullied her into cancelling it claiming insurance would not pay for it.
Very uneasy we went down to wildwood. Th e prisms had increased in duration and frequency. She was
getting them almost daily and they lasted anywhere from 5 - 20 minutes at a time. Rosie has forgiven Richie
for his role it he poor music on the new albums. Again they tell her it’s nothing to be concerned with and to
wait it out. She gets Chemo on June 19th. Th at day she’s complaining of seeing a yellow cast, and she’s very
weak and unsteady on her feet. Th ey tell her not to worry. Two days later, she’s in the ER. Th ey run a CT
and see that the tumors in her head well, there’s new swelling and what appears to be bleeding. But some
Page 52
of the lesions are gone. Out of 14 in march 6 disappeared, but 2 new ones appeared/ She cannot see well out of
her left eye due to a yellow hue. Friday - they tell her she’s getting radiation to the brain again, then it changes, no
then its back on again. Basically from what happens. Th ey told her not to bother that she was going to die. Her
biggest fear and mine. She starts Whole Brain Radiation therapy on Monday. So she gets the minimum amount
of time for the Doxil which is now toxic to leave her body. She can barely walk to the commode in her room. She
can’t breath she’s struggling. And they want her to have physical therapy for the most part they appear positive.
However, aft er the third round on radiation, she’s still complaining of sinus pain, and of this yellow cast,
she can’t watch TV. Leo is in bed with her, keeping her company she can’t walk or really get out of bed to use the
commode.
Th ursday of that week she fell out of bed. In a hospital. She can’t get the damn nurses to come when she pages
them. It’s horrible. I’m working and between calls at my job, I’m calling her and checking in and being the liaison
between her and her parents. Th at’s another story all together. Th ey weren’t there and then they tried to be
controlling of her the 5 years they were actively in her life. Th ey wanted her money and wanted her to be there
for them, but they fl at out refused to help her. Hence my role. I was the care talker. I had Power of Attorney. I
had supported her for everything . I fed, clothed, and supported her 100%. I was her mother, her friend and her
sister. I loved her more than anyone can ever imagine. Sunday, July 3rd, she feel again getting off the command,
it slipped out from under her and I could not get to her to catch her. I was in the room ,while she cried and sat on
the fl oor over 1 hour waiting for the damn nursing staff to get a lift and set of keys so they could pick her up off
the fl oor. It was horrible. She was struggling so hard to breath even then she was afraid, she was exhausted.
She kept repeating to me how much she loved me and how she hoped I knew that.
What a ride I have been on. I never in a million years ever thought I was going to have bury my best friend, my
sister, my better half, my world. On Monday, July 4th, I got the call at 2:00 AM. Rosie was complaining that
she couldn’t really see, all she was seeing was shadows. I got up and went to see her at the cancer ward of Robert
Wood Johnson University Hospital. Th ey were trying to calm her down, so that they could take her down for an
Stat Cat Scan (CT). She was also complaining she couldn’t catch her breath, and having a hard time breathing.
Aft er an hour they managed to get her transferred and down for the CT. Once the oxygen tank came off , she
was losing her color, and turning purple during the CT.
I had to watch her struggle for the last hours of her life. I sat there exhausted, helpless, holding her hands,and
telling her how much I loved her and to just relax. She was so afraid of dying and leaving me. She didn’t want
to die, she was afraid to do this alone. I sat there for 2 hours and watched as she labored with an oxygen level of
80-85% before the oncology ward even notifi ed respiratory she was having any problems. Th ey fi gured the mast
worked earlier in the day aft er she fell, which is another section to be penned in. My heart just is so broken, I
could do nothing but watch her go to God. I lost her, and I couldn’t save her any more, I couldn’t help her, take
away her fears, or be there as her support system, her Rock, her sister, her best friend. It was horrible to see her
say yes, put the ventilator in, so that she could breathe easier, and still be alert and know who I am. Horrible to
watch them get it in, but fail to restrain her. Rosie’s worst fear was tubes down her throat. Once they got it in, she
then promptly ripped the tube out. Th ey had to insert it a second time, note I had to watch all of this happening
between 5-6 am on July 4th, 2011. She then coded, Code Blue – 6 N – Code Blue 6 N, I was standing just outside
the room, and was asked if they should resuscitate her. Her parents weren’t there yet, and I had to make a phone
call, saying Cheryl is dying, you need to get here now. She is now code blue, do you want her resuscitated? I was
told yes, and they worked on her for 25 minutes before they got her heart started. 25 minutes I stood crying in
the hallway watching them and this massive swarm of people around her. I felt her leave me then, I knew she was
gone, but we saw her aft er they got her restarted in ICU, they told us she would last another 20 minutes, if we
were lucky, she lasted until Tuesday, July 5th, 2:30 PM. We made the decision, to remove the life support. She was
changing colors before my eyes, and I said it was not what she wanted to be left alive only by machine. My heart
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broke, the instant the tube came out, she was gone. Immediately.
She will be buried with our picture at the Bon Jovi Show, for Lost Highway, in Philadelphia, where were had
front row seats for sound Check, her Richie sambora Jacket I made her, a picture of me with Macy’s Santa, her
picture of Chet and her as a baby, Mr. monkey, Maxwell the last thing I ever bought her, and a pinwheel in honor
of her love for the Gieco commercials. Services will be held on Friday, July 8th, 3 days before Richie Sambora’s
birthday. It never fails to amaze me, the connections I have with this band and the mirroring of my life.
So very sad, I miss her this instant, and I oft en feel her watching over me. Her parents managed to leave me out
of her Service and Orbit, going completely against her wishes, but I can’t fi ght and win that war. I know and
people around me know how very much I loved her. Jon wrote or Richie wrote: “If I got that call in the dead of
night, I’d be right by your side, Blood on Blood” well you know what I got that call and I was right by her side, up
until she died. Pain, grief, confusion, shock, numbness can’t even express how I am feeling. I just can’t put into
words the agony I am in right now.
I remember her at the Taylor swift show last year, and the Bon Jovi shows, the Keith urban shows, where we met
Jimmy Wayne, and meeting Jon at the Philadelphia Soul Games, meeting her favorite player Mike Brown. It just
hurts, remembering all the fun we used to have, and now knowing that she won’t be here any longer. To be my
side kick, and my partner in crime. I love this line from Never been kissed, “Someone once told me, write what
you know not what you think you know”, So I’m writing I guess from my heart. Will it ever be published, who
knows at this point, but I would love to have this printed and bound and sent to Bon Jovi Management, and sent
to Richie Sambora’s agent. Maybe some good will come from this. Th is story is now well over 100 pages long and
has been a labor of love, of hurt, and healing.
For Rosie’s service, she will have Mystery Train played, Wildfl ower and Falling From Graceland, these are her top
Bon Jovi / Richie Sambora songs that she wanted played. Her parents honored this wish. I put the music together
with a few other selections.
Th is is the picture of the Denim Jacket I had cross stitched for her and she is buried in.
She took a picture of Richie with her, a copy of Crush, of Stranger In Th is Town, the
picture of us at sound check because it was such a happy memory. She took with
her Mr. Monkey, a set of Bon Jovi pins we both have.
As I write this I keep hearing “ She’s a ride on a Mystery Train.” I hope that this
makes into the Jon and Richie’s hands.
All I ask is for 10 minutes with the 2 of them. I would love to present this personally.
I just want them to autograph something and pose for a photograph with me, and a
hug. Much as though I’d love to be picked from the audience from the front row, to dance with Jon, I know that’s
not likely to happen.
Th e healing process for me has begun.
Th ank you Jon, Richie, Dave, Tico, Hugh, Alec, Bobby, Matt, Mrs. B, and everyone else, for giving these men the
support they needed to become the Rock Stars and legends they have become.
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