Sunday, July 31, 2011

Bon Jovi - Influenced my life - Background

   and another angle 
Store in Jettersville, VA

My mom and step father owned a little country st ore, located in Jettersville, Virginia. It was a small blip off
highway 360, in Amelia County. Aft er school, I would work in the
store. Th ey would fi ght in the back room and leave me, a 9-year-old
running the store.
Before school, I was working the morning rush during hunting season.
I remember the fi ghts. My step father throwing punches at mom. I’d
go to school worried that she’d be alright. I remember going to the
back room to ask a question and seeing him throwing punches at her.
I saw her trying to defl ect the blows and fi ghting back but it scared
me. I asked him why he was hitting my mom, and he slapped me for
leaving the front of the store unattended. I was physically, emotionally,
and sexually abused. I was whipped with a leather belt and spanked,
back handed. He used to like to drink beer, but I don’t have a lot of memories of everyday life. I have fl ashes from
working in the store with hunting season. Memories of going out and helping count points on deer and elk. I have memories of serving hotdogs, and mom’s goulash during lunch rush. I have memories of a packed store,
running the register, and my step father brushing up against me. During all school breaks I would work in the store, generally from like lunch- dinner time. I never had sleep overs.
Store in Jettersville before we sold it and moved to King and Queen, Virginia.
I was allowed to attend the local methodist church. We could were skirts to church. We could do youth groups and vacation bible school. I know that when I was at home, and playing with my sister, my step sister would get mad. We’d head for cover, because my stepsister, would get out the steak knives, chase us. My sister would
hold one door closed to my room and I would hold the other one, until we heard my stepsister leave the house. My step father was great at ruining our self-esteem and inflicting emotional abuse, especially on my sister. Th ese
memories of her getting that mad at us in our fi rst trailer, where all the bedroom doors were badly scared from
her attacks, to the last trailer we had which had 3 bedrooms, and was wider. It was a single wide, and located
next to store. Since I was at the store, and the oldest, I didn’t see that as much. One time, my stepsister actually
cut my wrist in her fi t of rage. I ran like a bat out of hell across the parking lot to the store and told mom. Th e
knives were removed from the house and locked up at the store. Luckily, it wasn’t a major cut, but it was enough
to scare mom. I can still see the bedroom doors marred with knife marks from her hitting the door in my minds
eye. It wasn’t just my room; it was any room we could hide in.

In summer just aft er school let out of 1985 we moved to King and Queen, Virginia, and another sma ll country
store. I bought 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit on cassette with my allowance. I would fi nd myself in all the songs.
I really loved “Silent Night, Secret Dreams, and King of the Mountain.” They gave me hope. They gave me
something to wish for, dream of, and believe in. I remember thinking about how much I wanted to be a teacher
at that point in my life. I wanted someone to love me for all that I was, someone to fight for me, like Bon Jovi
sang about with songs including “Roulette, and She Don’t Know Me.”


Store in King and Queen VIrigina.

In the spring of 1986, just aft er my 13th birthday, I was given Slippery When Wet, on vinyl. I had a record player
and it was the coolest thing. I fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi. I found my love of music. I really started to play
fl ute, like my mother. My imagination had been captured, by Riche Sambora, lead guitar for Bon Jovi. I loved the fact, he was goofy in the long white jacket with stars, white leather pants. I still had to work in the store but I was
beginning to mature. I was just getting into boys. I went to my first unchaperoned boy / girl birthday party. I was in the 6th grade.




6th Grade Band Class Photo Circa 1986-1987


We moved single wide trailer with us to King and Queen. I remember the day I bought the second copy of

Page 10
Slippery When Wet, because mine had melted in the hot summer sun, while playing with Teddy (our dog). I was
allowed to go over to my friend Michelle’s house once aft er school. I think that is the second time I was allowed
to go somewhere aft er school. I went to my fi rst boy / girl party. I danced with Timmy White, who was in my
class and Robbie White, who was a year ahead of me. I was 13, and Robbie was 12. We danced to “Th is Could Be
Th e Night ”, “Sarah”, and “Never Say Goodbye.” Th at was my fi rst party. We attended the same methodist church
that year.
Spring 1987
We were allowed to participate with the youth group activities, Halloween parties, and events. I was not allowed
to go to the sock hop at the end of the school year because it was a case of the girls had to ask the boys (Sadie
Hawkins.) I remember when we drove to see my maternal grandparents in Pennsylvania for my 13th birthday. I
had been given curlers, a Barbie tea set, and makeup. In the fall of 1986, my maternal grandfather had a stroke.
Mom, Stepfather, sister, and stepsister, all got to go and see him in the hospital. I was forced to stay behind,
with a family friend and run the store for a solid week. I am the oldest grandchild. I wasn’t permitted to see my
grandfather who nearly died in the hospital. To this day I am still very bitter about that. I resent my stepfather
and mother for that reason. I don’t hate him because I have learned to forgive him but I don’t like him much. I
haven’t seen him since June 1987.
My maternal grandparents were in the process of relocating to Bonanza, Oregon, when Mom fi nally found
the strength to leave my stepfather. It was in June 1987. Mom made arrangements for my sister to help my
grandparents move. I was going to be helping a cousin in Gallatin, Tennessee, look aft er her foster kids. So
we packed our must have items that we couldn’t live without and hit the road. We were going to meet at my
grandparents home in Ashland, Kentucky.
I had completed 6th grade. I had been given Slippery When Wet by mom on cassette in honor of the trip so I had
my favorite band. I did notice that mom had packed into the van, some of her private belongings like a antique
100+ year old doll that had been her grandmother’s, who passed a few years earlier. And some other things like
that. By the time we were in West Virginia, mom had told Michelle and I that she was leaving Jimmy. All I had
to my name, were my Bon Jovi tapes, a couple of dolls, and a few posters, plus the few clothes that I had packed.
We were surprised. We were happy, sad, and confused. I was worried about mom. She said she hadn’t told him
she was leaving. She wanted us out of the state and safe, so that he couldn’t touch us. Th at scared me, now that
I think about it. I remember sitting there calmly asking “Why mom?” She said “I can’t take any more of the fighting. I fear the way he was acting towards you. I am tired of him picking on Michelle all the time.”

Michelle, Mom and I after leaving my stepfather:

We got to Kentucky and headed our separate ways. For 3 months, I did not see my younger sister, about a month

went by and I did not see my mother. She later moved to Tennessee. Mom stayed with a diff erent cousin, but
close to me. Slippery When Wet was my savi or , my escape and my best friend. I was “Living on a Prayer”, “You
Give Love A Bad Name”, reminded of my evil stepfather and my fi rst boyfriend, Dwight. While “Wanted Dead Or
Alive, King of the Mountain, Silent Night, Secret Dreams”, that was what I wanted. I found comfort and courage
in Slippery When Wet. “Never Say Goodbye,” I sent to the boy I had a crush on. He sent me a picture that he had
taped together of the two of us, saying he really liked me too. Cheesy now, but the sweetest thing I had been
given by a boy. We had danced to that song before I moved to Tennessee.
Th is is the photo that was taped together with his picture from the same year:


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